Psalmflections: Psalm 2

When our kids were young, we would entice them into raking leaves in our backyard every autumn. The enticement took the form of one dollar per bag full of leaves. We got away with this while they were young enough to think 10 bucks was a lot of money; once they wised up, we were back to raking the leaves ourselves. It was nice while it lasted.

One year, Georgia and Alice, our two youngest, were in the backyard raking away, slowly filling up black garbage bags with fallen leaves. Steph and I were watching them from inside the house, satisfied with having foisted the raking off on the kids for one more year. At the time, Georgia was around 13, Alice 9. Suddenly, for reasons that remain a bit obscure to this day, Alice had a meltdown. Now, when I say she had a meltdown, I mean she had a towering, monumental, truly stupendous temper tantrum. Steph and I watched from the window as Alice slammed her rake repeatedly into the ground, finally snapping the handle. She flung bags of leaves around the yard like an Olympic hammer-thrower. She kicked her way through piles of raked leaves, gesticulating wildly all the while. It was a wonder to behold. Since we were inside, we couldn’t hear anything – it was like watching a silent movie. Though this may not reflect entirely well on us as parents, I have to admit I’m not sure we’ve ever laughed so hard. This scene comes to my mind whenever I read Psalm 2.

Psalm 2 begins with a question: Why are the nations in an uproar? Since the psalmist likely wrote this 2,500 years ago or so, it’s safe to say the nations have always been in an uproar. They certainly are today, as much as ever. The war in Ukraine, conflict in the Middle East, the bitter partisanship between political parties in the United States - it is nothing if not an uproar! The psalmist goes on to say the rulers of the nations are taking counsel against the Lord and against His Anointed. And what is God’s response? In verse 4, it says, “He who sits in the heavens laughs.”

God laughs at the uproar of the nations because He is sovereign. Psalm 103:19 says, “The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and His kingdom rules over all.” No matter what the rulers of the nations or their followers may believe, they do not hold the destiny of the world in their hands. There is a sovereign above them, one who rules over them all.  

God laughs at the uproar of the nations because He is in control. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He will.” As much as it may seem otherwise, God actively directs the hearts of the rulers of nations. No matter how out of control things may appear from a human perspective, God’s hand is firmly on the tiller.

God laughs at the uproar of the nations because of His Son. Later in Psalm 2, God speaks, saying, “You are My Son, today I have begotten You. Ask of Me, and I will surely give the nations as your inheritance.” Jesus is the King of the Jews; He is the King of Israel; He is the King of Heaven; He is the King of glory; He is the King of kings, and the Lord of lords. As it says in Revelation 11:15, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ; and He will reign forever and ever.”

Too often we become entangled in the uproar of the nations, forgetting the clamor, conflict, and tumult is so inconsequential to God that He can only chuckle in response. As children of God, we can safely ignore the uproar of the nations, keeping our eyes fixed on the eternal kingdom of our eternal King instead.  

Psalmflections

Scurvy was – and is still – a truly appalling disease. It is progressively debilitating, horribly painful, disfiguring to its victims, and ultimately fatal. While we don’t consider it much today, at one time in human history it was responsible for the agonizing deaths of up to 2 million people, almost all sailors. Vasco da Gama lost 116 out of 170 men on one voyage to India; losses of up to 90% of a ship’s crew were common. Consider this first-hand description of the disease:  

“The symptoms of scurvy do not necessarily occur in a regular order, but generally the first sign is an inflamed, swollen condition of the gums. The whitish pink tinge next the teeth is replaced by an angry red; as the disease gains ground the gums become more spongy and turn to a purplish colour, the teeth become loose and the gums sore. Spots appear on the legs, and pain is felt in old wounds and bruises; later, from a slight oedema, the legs, and then the arms, swell to a great size and become blackened behind the joints. After this the patient is soon incapacitated, and the last horrible stages of the disease set in, from which death is a merciful release.”

Scurvy is caused by a lack of Vitamin C in an individual’s diet, a particular problem for sailors prior to the 18th century who embarked on cruises lasting five or more months when fresh food of any kind was rare. In 1747, Scottish physician James Lind discovered the inclusion of citrus, even in small amounts, in the form of lemon juice mixed with a sailor’s daily ration of grog completely prevented, and could even cure, scurvy. This discovery, in no small part, contributed to the dominance of the British navy for succeeding decades. Even though they didn’t understand the biochemistry involved, it was clear proper nourishment was the key to maintaining health.

This is no less true of our spiritual health than it is of our physical bodies. Psalm 1:3 says, “That person [who delights in the law of the Lord] is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither – whatever they do prospers.” Let’s consider what this verse tells us about spiritual nourishment.

1.     There is a source of nourishment. The tree is planted by streams of water, providing it with a constant source of nourishment. If we are to grow spiritually, we must have access to a source of nourishment. The psalmist indicates in the previous verse this source of nourishment is delighting in and meditating on God’s law. In addition to God’s Word, the Holy Spirit uses worship, godly community, prayer, the sacraments, and fasting to provide nourishment to His people.

2.     A nourished tree bears fruit. A tree, properly nourished, will naturally produce fruit. In our spiritual lives, this fruit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). It is useless to suppose this fruit can be produced without access to the nourishment necessary for its growth. Plant yourself by streams of water, and fruit will come.

3.      A nourished tree prospers. It is not to be supposed this means a spiritually healthy individual will, ipso facto, be materially prosperous. The Hebrew word used here, saleah, means to push forward, to succeed, or make progress. It is likely this is connected to the preceding phrase in the Psalm – that the tree’s leaf does not wither, but rather prospers, or continues to grow and bloom.

Matthew Meade, one of the great Puritan preachers and authors, once wrote, “O take head that you are not found overvaluing other things and undervaluing your soul. Shall your flesh be loved and shall your soul be slighted? Will you clothe and pamper your body and yet take no care of your soul? This is as if a man should feed his dog and starve his child.”

Eighteenth century British sailors understood the importance of nurturing their physical health through proper nourishment; let us be sure we are equally diligent in nourishing our spiritual health, planting ourselves by streams of living water (John 7:37-39).

Prayers for Ukraine

We’ve all be watching the situation in Ukraine and Russia become increasingly urgent. It is hard to know what to make of it all and it is hard to know how to respond. How will this reshape our world moving forward?

As God’s people, the one thing we know we can do is PRAY!

Below are some articles and resources to help guide your prayers for Ukraine:

From Religion Unplugged on “Why Some Experts Insist that Putin is Motivated By Religion”

From the Gospel Coalition on “The Ominous Threat Surrounding Missionaries in Ukraine”

From the Gospel Coalition on “Woken Up by Bombs: A Church Planter in Ukraine Prays and Perseveres” and “To Stay and Serve: Why We Didn’t Flee Ukraine”

Scotty Smith’s prayer for Ukraine:

Heavenly Father, among your many names, “God of Peace” is precious, timely, and essential to us today. We rest, revel, and rejoice in the peace you have established with us through the finished work of Jesus. Reconciled, “in Christ,” your beloved children forever—these realities now define us more than our birth certificates, DNA, or anything else. But there’s another “peace”—a glorious shalom for which we long, wait, and pant.

The war in the Ukraine is making the promise and hope of peace on earth our immediate yearning and passionate craving. What did Paul envision with his image of the “soon crushing of Satan under our feet”? Not us crushing Satan, for the Lord Jesus took care of that once and for all. Paul envisioned the Day when everywhere we plant our feet, it will be evil-empty. Satan-void, and your glory filled. Hallelujah!

The promise of “soon” doesn’t come with the hint of which year, decade, or century. But it does come with your guarantee—our Father who never lies or exaggerates. Until that Day, you give us “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ” as our inexhaustible supply and incomparable riches. Thank you.

Riches to be spent as we live and love to your glory, take the Gospel to the nations, and go with Jesus into the most broken places. We pray for the crisis, your church, and children in the Ukraine. We pray “soon” will be “sooner.” We pray the hope of the Gospel will topple our fears and fuel our extravagant grace-spending on others. So Very Amen.

Kate Bowler’s Blessing for Ukraine:

God, the unthinkable has happened.

Swiftly, relentlessly,

by stealth and through open destruction,

the peace and beauty of the ordinary,

has been shattered in a day.

O God of justice and might,

We call to you to come and bring this suffering to an end.

Comfort these trembling hearts.

Shield the vulnerable.

Strengthen those with the resources and the resolve

to protect what they love

in the face of such overwhelming force.

Grant wisdom to the nations of our world, to our leaders, and to us,

to grasp the unfathomable,

to see evil in its true light,

and come against it unflinchingly.

Dear Ukraine,

though we shudder to watch what is happening

We will not look away.

Read through the Bible

Reading through the Bible is a much different than reading through any other book. It can often feel more like a journey or pilgrimage than an information download or healthy distraction. When you go on that journey, you quickly find that it is full of surprises, doubts, and challenges, as well as opportunities, encouragement, and affirmations. In fact, in that journey you often find that God reveals himself in ways you never expected.

Wrestling with all these things and journeying with God through his word however, is the way Chrstians throughout the centuries have grown in their faith. In fact, it is only through the truth of God’s word that Christians can know they are actually growing in the right direction. As Peter says to Jesus, “you have the words of eternal life, where else can we go?”

This year, join us as we read together through the word of God.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:31-31)

What If Someone Called Me A Racist?

Every age and place has sins that seem worse than others. On the battlefield, soldiers abhor cowardice and fratricide more than anything. On the athletic field, players are warned of the dangers of gluttony, laziness, and ball-hogging. In Medieval Europe, suicide was thought to be particularly heinous. In our day, racism is held up as practically unforgivable. So what should our attitude as Christians be if someone calls us a racist?

Recently, a group at our church was discussing the book, The Color of Compromise, by Jamar Tisby. The book details the American church's history of complicity with racism.  In that discussion, our Sr. Pastor brought up this question, “What would I say if someone asked me if I was a racist?” As we tossed around ideas on how each of us might respond, it was generally accepted that we might all at least respond with “maybe” or “I certainly might be.” 

In light of Tisby’s book, which records in horrifying detail some of the lynchings that have gone on in our American history,  as well as a myriad of other abuses, admitting to being a racist can feel tantamount to murder. Because of this, it can be very uncomfortable to accept the label of racist as applied to ourselves personally. Even saying, “I might be racist” can feel scary. 

However, even though the label of racist is hard to accept given the current cultural climate, gospel believing Christians can have the attitude that we are much worse than racists. In fact, it is a sign of spiritual growth to see yourself as progressively more sinful as you grow in your Christian life. We know this because the apostle Paul claimed to be the “worst of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15) at the end of his life and ministry. He did so unashamedly because he knew that it showed off the greatness of the God’s grace (1 Timothy 1:16). 

The Russian novelist Dostoevsky testifies to this truth through the character of Father Zosima in his book, The Brothers Karamozov. Father Zosima is the beloved elder of a Russian monastery. On his deathbed, his brother monks all gather together around him and Father Zosima tells them things he hopes they will learn before he dies. During his speech he says,

“Love one another, fathers. Love God’s people. We are no holier than those outside, just because we have shut ourselves up behind these walls. Just the opposite, by coming here, each of us has acknowledged to himself that he is worse than those who remain outside, worse than anyone in the world. The longer a monk lives within the monastery walls, the more acutely must he be aware of this… It is only when it is revealed to him that not only is he worse than all those outside these walls, but also that he is responsible to all men for everyone and everything, for all human sins, universal and individual —only then will he have achieved the purpose of his seclusion… Such an awareness is the crown of a monk’s life and indeed, the crown of any human life on earth.” 

The crowning achievement of human life, according to Father Zosima, is to know yourself as worse than anyone else in the world, and to be responsible to all men for everyone and everything. If Christians believed this, we would not despair at  being called a racists. Instead, when called racist, we would humbly acknowledge that we are actually much worse than racists. If we are honest, not only do we have implicit and explicit biases toward one or several groups of people, we are, at the core, primarily concerned with ourselves and will generally do everything we can to preserve our own interests. 

For me personally, because of my self-centeredness, I often participate in systems that are antithetical to loving my neighbor as myself. I often treat others as less valuable than myself, and I often look down on people who do not look, live, talk, or act like me.  But even though all that is horribly true of me,  the good news of the Gospel tells me that Jesus came for people like me (John 3:16).

So am I a racist? Honestly, I am far worse. But I praise God that Jesus came for sick people and that the only way into his kingdom is admitting to be a rebel against the King.

[ Dostoyevsky, Fyodor. 2003. The Brothers Karamazov. New York: Bantam Dell, 216.]

Baltimore '68, '15, '20

In May of 2008, I took a post-graduate course on Justice and Reconciliation at St. Mary’s Seminary. I chose to do my research on the race riots of 1968 in the wake of Martin Luther King’s assassination. Particularly, I wanted to understand how Baltimore reconciled after these traumatic events. The research didn’t produce much. There simply wasn’t much there. Baltimore did very little in terms of fostering healing conversation and reconciliation movements after the riots. My conclusion was this: The riots were a festering wound in the city’s history. If the wound wasn’t treated, we were bound to see it again.

Just two years later after this project, our city erupted again. This time, it erupted over the death of Freddie Gray. Baltimore became ground zero for unrest throughout the country. Now, five years removed, we wonder whether the wound still festers.

As I write this, our city is once again dealing with unrest. This time, it is over the tragic and unjust death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis Police offers. The wounds are once again reopened. But, what will we do now? We will go back to normal? Or will we really and truly deal with the wounds? And how, as followers of Jesus Christ, can the church be a part of the healing?

Now seems like an appropriate time to rethink this original project with you. But, in order to move forward, we have to understand where we’ve been. If not, history will continue to repeat itself.

It is a long read and there are some personal aspects to it. It was written 7 years ago, before I lived through two public protests in Baltimore. My thoughts have evolved accordingly. But, if it gets the dialog moving, it will be well worth it.

COVID-19 Care Connection

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation
in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the
form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” - Philippians 2:1-7

In response to the recent efforts to care for those who are more susceptible to the coronavirus, our government leaders have asked us to practice “social distancing” to help contain the spread of the virus. We realize this can have a significant impact on you, your family, your loved ones, and your neighbors receiving the care that is needed whether that be through obtaining groceries and household necessities, financial burdens due to job challenges, or physical help with getting around the house or city. For those of you who have needs that are not being met, City Church would love to be able to help meet some of those needs through our care connection team. If you and your family or someone you know needs help, please reach out to our administrative assistant, Jordan Brand, at her email address, jordan@citychurchbaltimore.org, and she will connect you to someone at City Church who can help meet some of your needs during this unprecedented time.

On the Coronavirus

This morning, I woke up to at least ten emails on the subject of the coronavirus. Almost every organization is thinking through plans in case of a larger scale outbreak. At City Church, we’ve been thinking through the implications of all this as well. It is important for us to respond accordingly. But it is also important for us to all see this as an opportunity to demonstrate our faith to a world that is watching. 

 1.     This is an opportunity to trust Christ. 

 In Matthew 6, Jesus encourages His followers. He says, “Do not be anxious about your life.” He instructs them to look at the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. God cares for them. He asks, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” If God cares for the lilies and the birds, how much more will your heavenly Father care for you? “Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.”

 God cares deeply and intimately for you. You are His child and He is your Father. None of this catches Him by surprise. Don’t worry. Trust Him with all your anxieties. Approach Him with childlike faith. 

 2.     This is a reminder that life is fragile.

 The anxieties of our culture are fueling the furor over this potential outbreak. But the anxiety perhaps has more to do with what it reminds us about life and less to do with a virus. Ultimately, it reminds us that life is fragile. James compares our lives to “a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes(James 4:14).” Psalm 144 reminds us that “man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.” 

The Scriptures consistently remind us of the fragility of life. At any moment our lives could be taken from us. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. A wise person recognizes this and lives in light of it. 

3.     This is an opportunity to demonstrate Christ.

Our culture doesn’t like to be reminded of the fragility of life. We think we are guaranteed tomorrow and act like we will live forever. We think that we are in control of our own destiny. But when confronted with reality, the glass house falls and we are left with all sorts of anxieties.

 What an opportunity for God’s people to demonstrate the values of God’s kingdom! We don’t stick our head in the sand when it comes to hard things. We acknowledge that life sends us frightening and scary things. Yes! Life in a fallen world can be painful and arduous. 

 But, God is in control. Our Father even numbers the hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30). 

Yes! Life is fragile. We are here today and gone tomorrow. But, we are held in the hand of a God who loves us infinitely. If we are His, an eternity of blessing awaits us. Why worry?

 These aren’t simply religious platitudes. They are concrete realities that we can and should build our lives upon. These concrete realities will help us stand while the waves of whatever current anxiety and cultural furor buffet us. 

We exemplify Christ by demonstrating childlike faith in the midst of the storm. 

 We also, exemplify Christ by radically caring for those who are around us. Sociologist Rodney Stark in his book, The Rise of Christianity, writes about multiple epidemics that threatened the Roman Empire. While everyone else fled, Christians stayed. They exemplified childlike faith and radical care for those who were suffering. Because of the testimony of these Christians, many were converted to the faith.

 Things are not as serious today. But the anxieties of our culture become opportunities for God’s people to demonstrate our faith. 

But there are some practical elements to this discussion as well that have implications for our church:

1.     We plan to never cancel services [Lord-willing!]. 

 We believe that Sunday matters. We have long resisted providing online or streaming options because physical presence matters. Yes! We can and should worship God everywhere. But, we are also called to regularly and publicly gather for worship. God calls us to be committed to a local and spiritual family and physically being there matters.   (Stay tuned for a blog series entitled: “Why Church Matters.”)

 So, whether we are many or few, we plan to gather for worship each Sunday.  

 2.     We have already changed communion procedures. 

 As already announced, there are some ways we can do communion differently in order to minimize the spread of germs. We have implemented some new methods and plan to consider more. However, we don’t want to so sanitize the sacrament, that its power becomes lost. 

 3.     We plan to offer a live stream option for those most vulnerable.

 We also recognize that there are some who are particularly vulnerable when it comes to sickness. So in order to care well, we hope to offer a live stream and / or video recording of our service for this population. We are going to do a practice run on March 15 and plan to have this option available for our March 22 service. The video will not be open to the general public, but only to those who subscribe to the stream. 

To gain access to the stream, click here: CITY CHURCH LIVE STREAM.

 Let’s join together in prayer for our community and for each other. But, let’s also commit to exemplifying the values of the kingdom to a watching world. 

Being Like Minded

This past Sunday, we reflected on Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

You can download the sermon HERE.

We referenced Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s work, Life Together, and wanted to post the fuller quote. He offers seven principles for eradicating selfish ambition from Christian communities. Christians, he says, should:

• Hold their tongues, refusing to speak uncharitably about a Christian brother;

• Cultivate the humility that comes from understanding that they, like Paul, are the greatest sinners and can only live in God’s sight by his grace;

• Listen “long and patiently” so that they will understand their fellow Christian’s need;

• Refuse to consider their time and calling so valuable that they cannot be interrupted to help with unexpected needs, no matter how small or menial';

• Bear the burden of their brothers and sisters in the Lord, both by preserving their freedom and by forgiving their sinful abuse of that freedom;

• Declare God’s word to their fellow believers when they need to hear it;

• Understand that Christian authority is characterized by service and does not call attention to the person who performs the service

[Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 90-109; taken from the NIV Application Commentary - Philippians, 107]

Soggy Sneaks!

On Friday, August 3, fifteen City Church members participated in the Back on My Feet Sneaks Come Out at Night race. Some walked. Some ran. Some ran farther. Some volunteered. Everyone got soaked. About an hour into the event, the heavens opened up and poured rain on all involved. However, the rain did not damper anyone's spirits and everyone was thrilled to be a part of such a great event. 

Back on My Feet, a national organization operating in 12 major cities coast to coast, combats homelessness through the power of running, community support and essential employment and housing resources. Here in Baltimore, Back on My Feet has chapters at the Penn North Recovery Center, Helping Up Mission, Christopher's Place, and MCVET.

For three years now, City Church has sent a team to participate in the Sneaks event. After last year's event, several members decided to volunteer with Back on My Feet in an ongoing capacity. Along with other volunteers, they helped launch the Penn North chapter last fall. Three mornings each week, City Church volunteers can be found running the streets of Penn North, building relationships with the homeless population. 

photos courtesy of Kelsey Marden

If you are interested in learning more, take a moment to view the video below. Contact Back on My Feet to volunteer or talk with someone from our City Church team. If you can get up early, you can make a difference. And remember... it's never too early to start training for next year's race. 

El Salvador Blog #3

Day 8 (3/28/2018) by Jim Andreone

On Sunday morning we were able to take a bit of a break by visiting El Boqueron National Park, about a 45 minute drive up and around the mountainside from the guest house. The park is located on top of the San Salvador Volcano (now dormant) which last erupted in 1917, destroying much of the city at that time. From the visitor center, our team and the Snyder family hiked up to the rim of the volcano, enjoying the cooler air, trees, wildflowers and birds along the way. Interestingly, there is a small crater at the floor of the much larger crater, called “little Boqueron”. God’s creative power was very evident on this beautiful Sunday morning in this beautiful country. On the way back down the mountainside we stopped for coffee (they have really good coffee in El Salvador), enjoyed panoramic views of the city, got a demonstration of how coffee beans are roasted, and watched our waitress create a very detailed fish in Rachel’s latte.

In the afternoon, we continued our ministry to the boys at the New Dawn residence (see previous post for description of New Dawn), simply by hanging out and spending time with them. Eric, Rachel and Jim played UNO and Jenga - - good non-verbal type games - - although laughter translates well in both languages! While that was going on, Sean and Paul were across the street at the El Faro (Lighthouse) building, filling up balloons for a water balloon battle. Sides were chosen, and we had a dodgeball – type battle. Again, much laughter and friendship in evidence.

Monday morning was the time for the big soccer tournament that our group and the boys from New Dawn practiced for on Saturday morning.  This was a well-organized competition consisting of 7 teams, including a team from New Dawn, and, of course, City Church aka Team USA. Most of the boys from all of the teams seemed to know each other, and for sure, they were all quite intent on winning the tournament. Team USA played hard but lost 10-4 - - must have been the lack of colorful uniforms! The winner: New Dawn!

It was amazing to witness the care and love that some of the older men show towards the New Dawn boys. Some of them have gone through their own struggles with substance abuse, gang violence and homelessness, and by the grace of God have come out alive at the other end. They seem determined to not have this happen to these boys. The theme of Dignity-Respect-Love is evident and strong.

Monday afternoon we completed some work projects at El Faro. Sean and Paul finished up the ceiling fan installation and tackled some plumbing work. Rachel finished up her painting projects. Eric and Jim did some drywall spackling and sanding work in two of the MTES offices, for painting by a future visiting team.

On Tuesday, the Snyder family (Jon, Danielle, Tory and Ian) was gracious enough to share one of their vacation days (the city basically shuts down for Holy Week) with us. We went to the beach! It was nice to rest up for the long trip back to Baltimore on Wednesday.

The team at the top of the volcano

The view from the coffee shop

Two teams playing in the soccer tournament on Monday morning

The Beach!

El Salvador Blog #2

Day 5 (3/25/2018) By Eric Stevens, Sean Silveira

On Thursday night, we went to the MTES offices and made about 300 packages of food, which consisted of two slices of pizza and two breadsticks, and packed them into two large coolers. We took the coolers, along with cases of soda, and loaded them into the back of Jon’s pickup truck. Outside the office, we were greeted by about 20 people who knew to expect us. For the past seven years, MTES has been distributing food every Thursday night to people living on the streets in San Salvador. MTES uses this ministry as a chance to spread the word about their other programs, such as El Faro (described in our last blog post) and New Dawn (a nine to 12 month residential drug rehab program for minors). Our team hopped in the back of the pickup truck, the people formed an orderly line behind the truck, and we handed out the food and drinks to them. Then Ronnie, an employee at MTES, jumped onto the back of the truck and we began our night driving through the city, finding more homeless people, and distributing food and drinks. When we would find a group of people, Ronnie would shout, “Comida!”, which means “food” in Spanish. It was apparent how important this ministry was for the people living on the street and you could see the excitement in their eyes just to receive a small meal.

On Friday morning, we had the opportunity to see one of the young men graduate from the New Dawn program. He had entered the program about one year ago addicted to drugs. During his time in New Dawn, he received drug rehab services, counseling, tutoring, and more. His graduation was attended by not only his family but the families of the three other boys who are currently in the program. When it was time for the young man to say a few words, he broke down into tears because he was so grateful for the way his life has been changed over the past year. The other boys in the program stood up and surrounded him to give him support as he tried to speak about his gratefulness. Friends and family members were also overcome with emotion and joy seeing how far he had come in such a short time. The boys all then performed a song they had created during their time in the New Dawn program.

After everyone had left and we ate a brief lunch, we hopped back into our work projects that we had started the day before. Paul and Sean finished wiring and hanging the ceiling fans and everyone cheered when we flipped the switch and the fans turned on! Yay! Jim and Eric finished hanging the sheetrock wall, and Rachel continued painting the offices with the help of Jon and Danielle’s son Ian.

On Saturday morning, we went back to the MTES office and hung out with the three kids still in the New Dawn program. We played soccer for two hours in a small indoor court that a previous missions team constructed inside the garage area. We had a lot of fun and enjoyed seeing these kids who are going through a lot in their lives having time to just laugh and run and get some energy out. For lunch, we grilled hamburgers and served them to the kids. A few of us even were bold enough to add some hot peppers on our burgers!

That evening, we attended a church service that is held inside the MTES offices but is run by an organization called Hungry Church. The church was founded by and reaches out to ex-gang members who were deported from the US to El Salvador as well as other deportees from the US.  Before church began, they ate a meal together and enjoyed each other's company. The pastor spoke in English and it was translated into Spanish by one of the founding members so that the service would be accessible to everyone. At the end of the service, some of the members stood up and gave their testimonies. Most of them were brought to the US at a very early age and grew up speaking English and going to school. They then fell into the gang lifestyle or were just caught up with the wrong crowd, were arrested and spent time in jail. After serving their time, they were deported back to El Salvador. Some of them had absolutely no family or other connections here. One of the newest members spoke to us about how his family had taken him to the US when he was just 4 years old and had just been deported to El Salvador after being there 37 years. He told us about the culture shock because while he was born in El Salvador, the U.S. is his home. He spoke about God’s provision in that he was able to be connected to Hungry Church and in the two months time he has been in El Salvador they were able to get him into a housing situation and he was able to be setup with a job as well. It was amazing to hear the stories and talk to the members of the church, which was started out of a hunger to read and understand the Bible and a desire to reach out to the “unwanted” and “misfits” of the city.

The garage at the MTES offices decorated for the New Dawn graduation ceremony. 

Eric drilling in the final screws for the sheetrock. Above you can see the two fans that Paul and Sean hung. 

Sitting in the back of Jon's pickup truck, before going to the MTES offices on Thursday night to package and hand out meals. 

Paul and Sean hanging a ceiling fan. 

Pupusas are a traditional food in El Salvador and the team had the chance to each them on Thursday night, along with yuca, plantains, and curtido.

El Salvador Blog #1

Day 2 (3/22/2018) by Rachel Grotheer

Our team started our trip with a dramatic transition: from snow and ice to sun and heat! Jon Synder, one of the founders of Mission to El Salvador (MTES), picked us up at the airport and drove us through the city to the MTES offices, sharing with us facts on the way. Right away we noticed many people on the side of the road selling food and trinkets, even wading through stopped traffic to sell various objects. Jon then explained the economic situation in the country. He told us that minimum wage is about $8 a day or $300 a month. Even a doctor only makes about $800-$1000 a month, and yet the cost of living here is not much different than in the US (gas is $3.06/gallon, for example). With such a disparity between the income level and the cost of living, it is no wonder we saw so many trying to boost their income. We also noticed that every building has locked gates, is covered in barbed wire, and often there is an armed guard out front. All that said, we also were greeted by a beautiful country, and very friendly people. Jon and the team tried to lessen our initial culture shock by feeding us hamburgers the first night!

Our first day, Jon took us to the MTES office and explained more about the work MTES does. They have three micro-enterprises to increase opportunities for residents of the city to be employed. We saw several people working for one of them, making beautiful greeting cards, detailed with strips of colored paper. Across the street is another one of the enterprises, a small bakery selling sweet breads (hopefully we will try some soon!). The third entreprise is run by the women in the “Free the Girls” program, who had been trafficked. They sell new or gently used bras, giving them an opportunity to earn an income without having to interact with a man again.

We spent the rest of the day doing various work projects around the offices. Jim and Eric worked on putting up drywall to provide a more private space for the card-making enterprise. Sean and Paul worked on hanging electric fans in the at area. Rachel started painting trim and doorways in the offices. We will continue these projects throughout the week. I, (Rachel), was particularly struck by the joy and faith with which the employees and volunteers at MTES carry out their work. I was even interrupted in my work halfway the morning to join with five of them in prayer. They truly cover their work in prayer, as several prayers were said throughout the day, as different activities began.

After lunch, we worked with the El Faro (The Lighthouse) program, where clients of MTES (who struggle with addiction and homelessness) can come in, get their hair cut, play games, hear a short devotional and enjoy a meal. Eric and Rachel heated up several pizzas (in a very hot kitchen) with another volunteer from Germany. The rest of the team sat at tables with the clients, chatting and playing games with them. MTES is committed to three principles- dignity, respect, and love - and we really saw the MTES staff embody that in this time. They had a cake to celebrate all the February and March birthdays, they knew the clients by name and greeted them with a smile and handshake, they shared from the Bible that each person in the room was created in God’s image, that God said “it is good” when we created human beings, and that, in Jesus, we can all be God’s children.

We are about to enjoy a traditional Salvadoran dish “pupusas”, and then to go prepare and distribute about 300 meals to the homeless in the city. A long day, but it has been great so far to see the tireless effort the whole MTES staff puts into showing respect, dignity, and love to each person that crosses their path.

Sunrise from the guesthouse where we are staying. 

The room where MTES employees create greeting cards, and where Eric and Jim were putting up dry wall and Paul and Sean were hanging ceiling fans.

The part of the MTES office where Rachel was painting.

Eric and Rachel warming up pizza for clients of the El Faro program.

The team sitting and playing games with the El Faro clients.

Habits of the Spirit

James K. A. Smith talks about the spiritual power of habit. He writes, "the orientation of the heart happens from the bottom up, through the formation of our habits of desire. Learning to love [God] takes practice."

As the New Year arrives, many people will make resolutions that will impact their habits. We will work on better dietary habits, spending habits, or exercise habits. But, few will consider their spiritual habits.

Here at City Church, we offer weekly "habits" the form our desires and our loves. Consider committing yourself anew to these spiritual habits:

SUNDAY MORNING WORSHIP (Sundays, 9:00 AM) ~ Three Arts Club of Homeland

"And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all people." (Acts 2:46-47)

Carey Nieuwhof wrote a blog post called, "10 Reasons Even Committed Church Attenders Are Attending Church Less Often." It is well worth the read. He writes about how affluence, travel, and kid's activities are subtly undermining the church's influence. It has become so severe, that the "issue is reaching a tipping point" for most churches. 

We attend worship to be reminded that the Gospel is the defining principle of our lives and human history. We come to worship a God who gave Himself for us. We come to allow our values, thinking, and behavior to be shaped by this message. If we don't, then it is not surprising when our worldview is shaped by other things. 

ADULT FORMATION COURSES (Sundays, 10:45) ~ Stony Run Offices

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship..." (Acts 2:42)

Throughout history, the "giants" of the faith were those who deeply immersed themselves in the Word of God. These men and women believed in the formative power of the Scriptures. But, they also saw the value of studying God's Word in the context of community. 

All of us have blind spots. We see things through a limited lens. This is why we need the community of God to help us understand the Word of God. Consider joining us for our current series on 1 & 2 Peter.

WEDNESDAY MORNING PRAYER (Wednesdays, 7:00 AM) ~ Stony Run Offices

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers." (Acts 2:42)

Eugene Peterson said that "prayer is the way we work our way out of the comfortable but cramped world of self and into the spacious world of God." There is no better way to work our way out of the cramped world of self than by praying with others. We learn about the character of God and His work in the world through the prayers of His people. 

SMALL GROUPS (Various Times & Locations)

"And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." (Acts 2:46-47)

The first believers in Jesus Christ made it a priority to break bread and pray with one another in their homes. The sense of community was so strong that it attracted others to the faith. Others were filled with awe. 

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When it comes to "spiritual disciplines" the modern church tends to think very individualistically. "I grow in the faith by studying my bible and praying alone in solitude and quiet." These things are no doubt important. But the priority of the first church and the priority of the list above is communal. We need to start thinking of the "spiritual disciplines" within the context of the messy, yet beautiful, community of faith. We need each other.

Consider committing yourself anew to these spiritual habits in 2018. They are not easy. They require work, discipline, and hard choices. But, these are the priorities that God has given us to shape our lives around. They are God's ordained means by which we grow in grace. 

Christian Community Center

About the Christian Community Center

The Christian Community Center is a non-profit ministry in West Baltimore focused on reaching inner-city children with the gospel. Open from 2:30 to 5:00 p.m. on weekdays for all school-aged children, this relational ministry provides after-school bible studies among other activities. Believing that the most important thing the children need in their lives is God, they teach the bible every single day, guiding them to center their lives on Jesus as their Savior. Their reach also spreads to a ladies' ministry three times a week and a weekly men's bible study. 

Get Involved

Love spending time with children? Then drop by the Christian Community Center during their open hours! Whether it's playing games, shooting hoops, participating in crafts, helping with homework, teaching music, or helping share the gospel, the kids will love spending time with you during this after-school ministry.

Read about the latest happenings at the CCC: June 2020 Newsletter

Interested? Email Jordan at jordan@citychurchbaltimore.org.

 

Other Opportunities

• Ladies' Bible Study – Volunteer Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday mornings from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. for a women's bible study, then help serve either a snack or lunch to follow.

• Men's Bible Study – Volunteer for this weekly Monday bible study geared towards men in this community.

• Used Clothing and Toy Store – Donate your used items to their store open every Monday!

Mission to North America's Disaster Response

About MNA Disaster Response

Mission to North America (MNA) provides support to PCA churches in disaster-affected communities through a network of staff and volunteer damage assessment teams, first response teams, site managers, and key leaders. MNA recruits and mobilizes volunteers, receives and distributes supplies and equipment, brings awareness of specific needs, channels recovery funds, focuses prayer and provides spiritual encouragement to our PCA family and their communities.

 

About Hurricane Harvey & Irma

We all have heard the names Harvey and Irma at this point. These two storms have certainly made names for themselves: both incredibly destructive, taking lives and disrupting many:

MNA is in full response mode in TX following Hurricane Harvey’s impact. Now we are assessing Hurricane Irma’s destruction in FL, GA, AL, TN, and SC. Although some areas are still underwater, and/or without power, early reports are that we have many opportunities to assist PCA communities rocked by this second, wide-spread disaster while still ramping up our response in TX.

MNA Disaster Response has staff and key leaders on the ground checking in with our congregations which number more than 160. Obviously it will take some time to determine the needs for each church family and how best we can help in the Name of Christ.  MNA works through a network of relief providers coming alongside local PCA churches and mission organizations in the affected areas. Funding is needed for mobilization of assessment teams, setting up short-term and long-term recovery sites that will host volunteers, supplies and equipment purchases, the transportation of urgently needed relief supplies, and financial grants for stabilization of homes belonging to our members and church physical plants. MNA also channels funds to our congregations to assist non-affiliated (non-PCA) storm-impacted families in desperate need through Mercy Ministry.

Please prayerfully consider a generous donation to equip your disaster response ministry to respond well to this new disaster.

 

Get Involved

Want to help? Assemble Flood Buckets & Hygiene Kits with us to send to MNA's Disaster Response Warehouse.

MNA's Disaster Response Warehouse provides disaster relief by partnering with the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA) to gather crucial resources for communities affected by these catastrophic events.

Right now, they have two urgent needs: flood buckets and hygiene kits. Click below for a list for each to start assembling your kits.

Back on My Feet

about back on my feet

Operating in 12 major cities coast-to-coast, Back on My Feet uses running and community to motivate and support individuals every step of the way from homelessness to independence. [Their] success is measured not only by the health impact of miles run, but also by how many individuals obtain education, employment and housing.

Back on My Feet recruits members (individuals experiencing homelessness) at homeless and residential facilities around the country and begins with a commitment to run three days a week in the early morning.  After 30 days in the program, members with 90% attendance earn the opportunity to move into the second phase of the program called Next Steps, which provides educational support, job training programs, employment partnership referrals and housing resources. Almost 80% of individuals who start the program move into Next Steps.

about penn north

Penn North offers an integrated, community-based addiction treatment and wellness program. Acupuncture, outpatient counseling, job readiness and training, and a variety of healing modalities are available to assist individuals seeking to recover their lives by better understanding their relationships with addictive substances.

Many clients are referred directly from prison or an inpatient facility, and others are experiencing homelessness and coming in off the street. To provide a continuum of services and ensure that clients are supported through treatment, Penn North provides a supportive housing program for qualified adults.

Penn North serves both men and women. There are eight community homes off campus, currently with 158 beds, sleeping 60% male and 40% female. Residents can stay for as long as they need; generally, 18-24 months.

get involved: team penn north

CITY CHURCH has run for Back on My Feet (BOMF), but are you interested in lacing up weekly and running with Back on My Feet?

City Church is helping BOMF get their new team started in the Penn North/Sandtown-Winchester neighborhoods, a Baltimore community that has experienced unbelievable unemployment rates (21% vs. 4.3% national average), poverty (30.9% vs. 14.5% national average), homelessness (1/3 of homes are vacant), and incarceration (3,074 per 100,000 persons vs. 455 national average).

Whether you're a regular runner or haven't run a day in your life, team up with other CITY CHURCH members as we run (or walk) with BOMF members of this running-based model that aims to restore member's confidence, strength, and self-esteem to better equip them to tackle the road ahead and move toward jobs, homes, and new lives.

Volunteers meet in the early morning, 5:30 AM, in Penn North and run between one and four miles with the members. Back on My Feet sees different physical abilities among members so all runners, joggers, and walkers can become a part of this growing community. They run every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but the desired volunteer commitment is once a week. Fallen in love with this team? Volunteer as often as you'd like!

Interested? Email Kelsey at kelsey@citychurchbaltimore.org.

 

other opportunities

• Wednesday, March 21 – Volunteer Orientation. CLICK HERE to register!
• Friday, August 3rd – Sneaks Come Out at Night Race. Stay tuned!

When You Don't Feel Like It

Although I call myself a writer, I’ve struggled to put thoughts into words for more than four months. That kind of stalling usually means I’m trying too hard, that I’m complicating something basic—something that should be told plainly.

So here it is: I want to tell you a story.

The story is simple—a service event and an unexpected conversation. It’s a quiet, unhurried story. It’s not glamorous. And, if I’m being honest, it barely has enough plot points to even be considered a story.

Yet, I feel compelled to share it with you.

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In April, I was supposed to organize an event for City Church at the Epiphany House, a GEDCO residence on York Road. This should have been an easy task: schedule the event, beg volunteers, show up, play games, eat carrots, go home, feel good about effort, check service off my list.

It should have been simple. But it wasn’t, because in April, I was too busy having an emotional break down and doubting God to focus on service.

I’d been suffering with severe insomnia for more than six months; I was mourning the loss of a relationship I’d thought would last forever; I was in the peak of my event season at work; and, due to the stress from all those things, my appetite had plummeted, dropping me to my lowest weight since I was fourteen.

Several people suggested that the best way to heal was to focus on serving others, so I agreed to plan the service event. Cool, I thought. Got it. Because I do the right thing. Façade. And God has a plan. Façade.

 And I’m in control.

Façade. Façade. Façade.

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About a week before the event, I broke down during a bible study I was leading. It was less than ideal. I don’t remember what triggered it, but I remember pausing before my prayer request, thinking what’s the point?

Normally, I would have shared a carefully-crafted appeal that would have been honest, but not too needy. Because ain’t nobody got time for neediness in prayer and community, am I right?

In hindsight, if I had been able to articulate my thoughts, I would have said this: if God is my father—not just fatherly, but my father who loves me and is for me—then why are my circumstances this painful? If being faithful mattered, then why does my life seem harder with faith than it ever was without?

But that night I was broken, exhausted, angry, and for once, I really didn’t care what people thought. I think I said something more like this: I’ve got nothing. Really. I give up.

No one said anything, but one especially-empathetic friend cried alongside me and prayed through her tears on my behalf. Another woman emailed me the next day, graciously taking over the service event without further question.

When I was no longer responsible for the event, I felt a mixed bag of relief, embarrassment, and defeat. It’s not that I was handing it over to someone less than capable—it’s that I realized it was yet another thing I was finding my identity in. It was another label that was being stripped away: now no longer useful or helpful even in ministry.

What could I still turn to for identity and worth?

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The night of the event, I decided that I didn’t even want to go. Two things kept me from skipping: the guilt of bailing on someone when I know how that feels, and my roommate asking if I wanted to walk down together.

 I decided I would go, help set up, tell people hi, and then sneak out. But, as with many of my plans, that’s not how the night played out.

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At the event, I reached a new level of unhelpfulness. I sat down and started painting a flowerpot meant for the residents, eyes cast downward. Soon, a resident I didn’t know passed through the common area. We invited him to paint a flowerpot. He told us it wasn’t his thing, but he’d sit with us anyway.

I’ll call him Barry.

When I found Barry later at a table apart from the rest of the group, we began talking about children’s ministries. This led him to share his memory of going to church and professing faith at the early age of six.

He then shared stories about his family and told me of some of the tragedies he’s endured. He even told me about the many times he’s felt like he stood alone, defending and resting in the authority of scripture.

At some point, Barry opened up about his first and only love and the aches of never being married when he deeply desired it. He told me that at times, he’s felt like he’s been faithful and yet God failed to show up.

(We also discussed Oprah.)

With each story, Barry was increasingly honest about his struggle to understand God’s plan for his life. With each confession, however, the depth and strength of his faith became more apparent. He spoke about faith in a way I don’t often hear in the church. He wasn’t offering platitudes; he was sharing a lifetime of death, rejection, loneliness.

And yet, at every step, he also professed the greatness of God. He testified to God’s faithfulness. When I shared my awe at his passion, he reminded me that faith is a gift that anyone can ask for. It was like reading a psalm. In one breath Barry confessed his struggle to understand and with the next he proclaimed God’s glory.

I gradually became very quiet, alternately biting my lip and popping my jaw to keep tears from falling. (I cry a lot so this isn’t extraordinary, but still…things were happening.)

What Barry didn’t realize was that he was speaking to desperate prayers that I’d been praying for the previous two months, and in many ways, the two years before that.

I stopped Barry to confess that I’d been struggling with loneliness, a broken heart, and longing to know why God failed to show up when I’d tried so hard to be faithful.

Where was God?

Barry nodded, listening to my story as I had his. He seemed a little surprised by the details, but didn’t offer any cross-stitched verses. When I was done, he simply confirmed that some seasons are tough. He encouraged me to believe beyond my circumstances and to cling to what I knew to be true, especially when I didn’t feel it.

I was awed that despite our many differences—age, race, sex, socioeconomic status—we faced similar challenges with faith. Our shared loneliness made me feel a bit less lonely. In fact, for the first time in months, I felt quite known.

Barry and I talked for more than two hours, long after the event was over. We continued to talk about faith, we talked about hymns, and at some point we had an in-depth discussion about Dallas: really though, who killed JR?

He preached the gospel to me, and because he did so with such earnestness and at a time when my very-raw heart was desperate for it, it’s a conversation I will carry with me forever.

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That’s the whole story—or at least the main plot points—but it was more than just a conversation for me.

My words now are inadequate reporters of the comfort and deep peace I felt that evening. It was a reminder that God is simultaneously big and in the details. He made the mountains and yet he knows the deepest over-thinkings of my heart (and loves me still!). He is an intentional God who used an unexpected interaction to answer the silent questions I thought had gone unheard.

And listen, it’s not as if I got any of the “stuff” I was lamenting. God’s answer to my prayer was not I will give you sleep; I will give you a companion; I will give you success.

Actually, it was better than that.

It was as if God had heard my heart’s pleas and whispered back: I hear you. I hear your cries. You matter. And I’m not done with you yet. Keep going. Keep trusting. You aren’t by yourself. Ever.

Sometimes, when I look for God and am disappointed, I think it’s because I’m actually looking for a golden calf instead. What I mean is that I’m looking for comfort in comfortable things instead of looking for comfort in God. In those instances, God serves only as a vehicle to other things I believe will make me happy (instead of God Himself).

When I left the Epiphany House, there was no change in my circumstances. I still couldn’t sleep; my heart was still broken—although maybe now not so crushed; and I still didn’t understand the reasons behind any of it (and maybe I never will).

And yet, I left that event comforted, known, and more energized than I’d felt in months. My heart was full, when it had felt empty only hours before.

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This entire experience has not only challenged my understanding of God, but has also changed my perspective on service. I used to think service was about helping those less fortunate: I have things. You need things. Let me help you. Oh yeah, and you’re welcome.

Then I learned service isn’t really about the “haves” and “have nots,” because the Gospel unites us all. We’re all needy for a savior no matter what our position in life. We serve others not because of what divides us, but because of what we have in common.

Practically, however, I think my heart has tangled these messages along with my bent toward legalism, and I’ve approached service with an exhausted and joyless attitude.

I now think we aren’t just called to serve because we all need God. We’re also called to serve others because we need each other. This stranger soothed my soul with his faith and his kindness in ways that none of my friends or family could have. And that’s not a slight to anyone. Could God have used others? Yes, of course. But He didn’t.

Through this experience and a few others this spring, I was forced to face my brokenness, opening my eyes further to the lonely in our city and community. Whether you can see it outwardly or not, many of our friends and neighbors, including those at the Epiphany House, experience profound loneliness on a regular basis.

As neighbors, I don’t believe it’s enough to say well here’s the Gospel; it’s for everyone, good luck. Community, and in turn, service, means entering into the messiness with each other, even when we’re not sure what we’ll find on the other side.

In a world of coffee house concerts and young professional happy hours, our game nights at the Epiphany House may be the least-sexy event City Church hosts. I feel like I’m weirdly defending the ministry constantly, all the while I’m wondering myself are we really doing anything there? Why do I keep pushing this?

The truth is that the needs of our community and city overwhelm me. I’ve had little to no understanding of the ways I could even begin to meet the needs of the hungry, the poor, and the sick. I’ve focused so much on how to fix problems, that I’ve forgotten how to first love others. And why I love others.

What if service is as much about not trying to fix “the mess” as it is about fixing things and addressing needs? What I mean is yes, action is important (including showing up). We are called to care for the sick and needy. But, at least for other doers and fixers like me, service is also about realizing that we don’t actually do the hard work.

Our job is to show up, try our best, and appreciate the ways God chooses to use our gifts and talents. The Holy Spirit is really in charge of the heavy lifting.

I showed up with nothing to offer except a listening ear and an eventual-willingness to confess my doubt and questions. Barry showed up not wanting snacks or flowerpots. He wanted to share his story with someone.

And it mattered. It made a difference.

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It’s been four months, and that conversation still hangs with me. What though, have I done with this new understanding of service since April?

The answer is a sad one: not much.

In many ways, I’ve easily reverted back to my self-reliance and my but I’m so busy…it’s someone else’s turn to care about that stuff mentality. I offer no defense or celebration of that attitude.

Wait. Hold up. This woman writes an entire essay about service…and she hasn’t done anything in four months? What a hypocrite!

Well, yes. I’m inclined to agree with you…to a point.

But try to hear me out on one more thing: this is why we have to talk about service. Writing this story has served as a reminder to me of the experience and why this experience was so powerful.

I need reminders. Even the most amazing truth—say being saved by grace from a life of damnation—can fade into commonplace without regular reminders. Even as I’m writing this in a coffeeshop now, a stranger keeps fighting for my attention. I keep getting annoyed with him thinking, stop bothering me! I’m trying to write something really important about loving people!

Oh…wait…(God is funny and puts me in my place often.)

I needed Barry to remind me about the gospel. I need this community to remind me about the importance of service. And I need service to remind me about my humble position before God.

I need. I need. I need. I am needy—are you getting it?

At the beginning of this post, I said I felt compelled to share this with you. Why? Because maybe, just maybe, some of you are like me. Maybe you think you have to wait to serve until you feel like it. Until your life is less busy. Until you find the service event that really lines up with your talents and your passions. And maybe there’s some truth in that…but I’m going to challenge you anyway and say maybe you’re as wrong as I was.

Maybe that’s sort of the same thing as saying you have to wait to come to God until you’re all cleaned up and put together. Maybe it’s that wrong.

We are human beings who cannot begin to get things right without the work of Christ. And yet, we get to try to love others and serve them, because we no longer have to fear getting it right. What beautiful juxtaposition and confusing grace that is!

When you serve, you don’t have to come with checklists, casseroles, good conversation, or even good feelings. Jesus multiplied five fish and two loaves, he can multiply your offerings into something much greater, too.

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Now, it may go without saying, but in the interest of reminders (and so that the elders don’t call me), I need to say this: service is an outpouring of the grace poured on us, but it’s not a requirement for that grace. Even serving can become a temptation to try to use “good works” to earn something that can’t be earned, especially if you’re a doer like I am.

What I’m trying to illustrate with my story, however, is that although service is done out of gratitude, sometimes you have to show up out of duty, for all the wrong reasons, before your eyes are opened up to the joy and power of gratitude. God can use you when you come for the right reasons, but he’ll also use you when you come for the wrong ones (the latter might just be a bit more uncomfortable than the former…).

Listen, I am by no means a seasoned Christian (and an even less-seasoned adult). I come to you as someone who fails a lot. I come to you as someone who clings to the rules to keep her safe and struggles to rest in work that’s already done. I come to you as someone who would rather watch Dawson’s Creek than talk to anyone after a long day at work, much less serve. I come to you with all the ways I’m a hypocrite and blind to my own sin.

I am not the measure of getting this right—I might actually the measure of getting it wrong. But still, I feel compelled to remind us all to serve, even when…

Serve when you feel like it. Serve when your heart is so full of grace and gratitude that it overflows into everything you do.

But also, serve when your heart is completely broken. Serve when it hurts to leave the house. Serve when you’re not sure if God is real or if he can hear you.

Serve when you have thoughts you dare not tell your closest friends because you think you go to a super-certain-of-truth-at-all-times, people-never-struggle-with-real-sin church.

Just serve. Simply show up.

Show up needy. Show up broken. Show up if you have an attitude problem like I do. Just show up. Ready to serve. Ready to love. Ready to let God do all the rest.

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Michelle Junot is a member of City Church of Baltimore and the author of two books: and the floor was always lava and Notes from My Phone*.

To learn more about the Epiphany House ministries or other service opportunities with City Church, please contact us here.

A Small Church

For years, I’ve enjoyed reading Eugene Peterson. Peterson is best known for his books and for The Message, a unique translation of the Bible into modern speech. What has fascinated me most about him is the fact that he was a pastor for one local church for 27 years. A 27-year tenure for a pastor in one church is a rare commitment in today’s culture.

Just the other day, I listened to a podcast called “On Being.” This particular episode featured a conversation between Krista Tippett and Eugene Peterson, “Entering What Is There”. By now, Peterson is in his late 80’s and attends a small, 80-member church in a rural town of Montana. He now has had ample time to look back on his pastoral career. Towards the end of the podcast he offers advice to those looking to pick a church.

PETERSON: Go to the closest church where you live and the smallest. After six months, if it isn’t working, go find the next smallest church.

TIPPET: What is it about small rather than big?

PETERSON: Because you have to deal with people as they are. You’ve got to learn how to love them when they are not loveable.

I’ve worked in three different size churches; small, medium, and large. Each has had its strengths and weaknesses, its beauty and its flaws.

I now pastor the smallest church I’ve ever been in. Certainly, we hope to grow in our number, influence, and depth. But there is something beautifully communal about small church. For better or worse, we know each other’s names, strengths, weaknesses, and idiosyncrasies.  We know well and are known well.

Our culture is one of isolation, independence, and anonymity. We deeply desire community, but are afraid to let people in. We play this tug-of-war with community in our hearts.

Maybe, a little small church is just what we need.

Join Our Team

City Church is looking to hire two part-time staff members to help with our ministry to the church community and to the neighborhoods of North Baltimore. 

City Kids Director (5 hrs / week)

Our City Kids Director will administrate our Kid's Program on Sunday mornings. This involves the scheduling of teachers and volunteers, curriculum preparation, and welcoming. The position also involves the planning and execution of City Kids events throughout the year. We are looking for someone with good administrative and creative skills who has a passion for kids.

City Church Administrator (8 hrs / week)

Our City Church Administrator will be responsible for the general organization and flow of the ministries of City Church. This requires involvement in almost every aspect of ministry at City Church. We are looking for someone with good administration, communication and organizational skills who enjoys working with people. 

It would be our desire to grow both roles into full-time positions down the road. If either one of these positions interest you, email Patrick at patrick@citychurchbaltimore.org. We are looking to fill both positions as soon as possible. 

We'd love to have you be a part of what God is doing in the neighborhoods of North Baltimore.